Who we are
Our website address is: https://fagerjord.org/. Duh.
What personal data we collect and why we collect it
When visitors leave comments on the site we collect the data shown in the comments form, and also the visitor’s IP address and browser user agent string to help spam detection.
If you upload images to the website, you should avoid uploading images with embedded location data (EXIF GPS) included. Visitors to the website can download and extract any location data from images on the website. We will know what you did, when you did it and where you did it. And we’ll laugh and laugh….
If you leave a comment on our site you may opt-in to saving your name, email address and website in cookies. These are for your convenience so that you do not have to fill in your details again when you leave another comment. These cookies will last for one year. After that, they are spoiled and no amount of milk can revive them.
If you visit our login page, we will set a temporary cookie to determine if your browser accepts cookies. This cookie contains no personal data and is discarded when you close your browser.
When you log in, we will also set up several cookies to save your login information and your screen display choices. Login cookies last for two days, and screen options cookies last for a year. If you select “Remember Me”, your login will persist for two weeks. If you log out of your account, the login cookies will be removed.
If you edit or publish an article, an additional cookie will be saved in your browser. This cookie includes no personal data and simply indicates the post ID of the article you just edited. It expires after 1 day.
Also, we accept cookies as long as they are chocolate and free of laxatives. And free from, should we say, performance enhancing substances. Those we’ll feed to the cat just to piss PETA off. And there’s a limit to how mellow a cat should be…
Embedded content from other websites
Articles on this site may include embedded content (e.g. videos, images, articles, etc.). Embedded content from other websites behaves in the exact same way as if the visitor has visited the other website. We do not even get affiliation goodies. It’s sad.
Who we share your data with
Absolutely nobody, to our knowledge. Dunno what WordPress does, though – but any sharing goes against my permissions.
Unless the Norwegian police come knockin’. Then I’ll sing like a canary!
How long we retain your data
If you leave a comment, the comment and its metadata are retained indefinitely. 4-ev-ah! This is so we can recognise and approve any follow-up comments automatically instead of holding them in a moderation queue. We’re no commies. Commies loooove queues. Queueueueueueueueeees. Should’ve ben spelled that way, with the last “eueueueueueueeee” silent. Go ahead. Check. I dare you!
For users that register on our website (if any – please register so we won’t be alone. It’s just me and the cat, and that’s sad), we also store the personal information they provide in their user profile. All users can see, edit, or delete their personal information at any time (except they cannot change their username. Once the site has baptised you, thy name is set!). Website administrators can also see and edit that information. We could do that to spite you, so play nice. Let the case of Mr. Leif could-not-handle-a-hammer-if-it-hit-him-in-the-head Olsson be a case of warning to y’all!
What rights you have over your data
If you have an account on this site, or have left comments, you can request to receive an exported file of the personal data we hold about you, including any data you have provided to us. You can also request that we erase any personal data we hold about you. This does not include any data we are obliged to keep for administrative, legal, or security purposes.
We will not delete all your comments on request, but we can change your name to “anonym”, “judas, “sissy” or something in that area.
Where we send your data
Visitor comments may be checked through an automated spam detection service. Other than that, Santa gets our naughty users list every year. Every. Single. One. Of. Y’all!
How we protect your data
We do not share data. The only time we’ll do that is if the Norwegian police ask for our cooperation. Alien lawyers does not need to send us toilet paper. Most office paper is too coarse for our tender behinds. “You have no power here, Gandalf!”
What data breach procedures we have in place
Tuck and roll and cry. Then call our web hotel provider and yell.
What third parties we receive data from
We do not even receive data from second parties. I’ve not got the time to worry about third parties!
What automated decision making and/or profiling we do with user data
Whatsthatyousay?? Well, we have this coin… Profiling? I use a power router for that. Profile planes is not my thing, really. My shelves are for tools and pieces of obscure offcuts.
Industry regulatory disclosure requirements
I don’t even know what that means. You lawyers are a crazy bunch coming up with stuff like that! Even NASA is not as bad with their acronyms. What in the world is a IRDR? IRDR! IRDR! Sounds like the planetary gears on a cordless drill screaming their death song….